Let me tell you about my experience in Africa, it was amazing. All of the other countries I have visited were incredible and all of the people along the way during my travels have been very kind, friendly and most welcoming. This was different though, perhaps due to the nature of the work I was doing (HIV-AIDS), or maybe I'm going through a transition of my purpose or a transformation of my path. I feel that now is the time for change ,now is the time to really get started and to make a difference with a long-lasting impact in this world for the benefit of others.

People often say to me that I'll be blessed and again I say to them that I am blessed with my life, my health, my friends and family and with the many opportunities and freedoms that so many would die for and so many of us take for granted. I am blessed to be alive, to receive life, to love, and to give everything I am to everyone I meet. Someday I'll die and I hope that I spend my life giving life, for the love that lives inside of me belongs to everyone and it lives inside of us all.

My travels took me to East Africa, to Tanzania near the border of Kenya, close to Mount Kilimanjaro and the Serengeti Plains in a town called Arusha in a village called Tengeru. There are so many foreigners that travel exactly here as a starting point to their safaris because of its central location and proximity to the airport. You will not hear about my experiences on a safari or will you see photos of lions, hippos and zebras and all the other Noah's arc types running freely. I didn't take any photos like that, I didn't go on safari, not because I didn't want to but because it costs money ($200 a day), and that money had bigger and better plans, not to just benefit me but for the purpose of so many people. Instead I took photos of the people living with HIV in a small village that I bought enough rice and beans for to feed them for some months. How I used that money to buy supplies for young orphans so they can learn a skill and perhaps someday earn a small income. To buy much needed medication for some people who have no income because they are sick and even less hope to live, with my money they can live for this one more day or longer?

This is my purpose in life, to love, to give, to share. I try and work so very hard at my low-income job in America so I can save money to fly around the world and volunteer for a month or so and give all that money away. Not in cash, but with resources and materials to help create opportunities where maybe they didn't exist before. So I can possibly help them help themselves, an investment into their lives and their future.

Please take the time to read about my experience in Tanzania and imagine what if it were you that needed someone to care about you and your life just because it was the right thing to do. As you sift through my photos keep in mind that some pictures are of those infected with HIV. Men and women of all ages and yes even children, boys and girls ages 12-13-14-15, as well as some infants. It affects all of them, it affects all of us. One thing for sure, the people in my photos are all my friends and I miss them dearly. Good news though I have a wonderful surprise in store for all of them but I need your help so please stay with me. Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers, my love is filled with your love.

Robbie (Rafiki)

3-10-2008

They call me Muzungu, which means white devil. Not really, its the Swahili word for European, which if you are white then you are a European. I am going to try to create a mix of concepts in all that I write, to be honest.

It's all pretty depressing. Many people come here to go on safari to Mt. Kilimanjaro or to see all the wild animals of the Serengeti. In US dollars, is not a whole lot, about $200.00 a day per person. That includes your park fees, transport, guides and all the other little stuff. You probably will not hear of these things coming from me. As the days go by you will read why. So, please take your time to read all that I have written and open your mind to the possibility that the world is not perfect.

I arrived at Kilimanjaro airport at 9pm. I was not met there by anyone, and I sat there for a couple of hours waiting. I realized this was a bad sign. I managed to use someone's cell phone and call the coordinator of the "greenfoundationtz.org" and informed him I have arrived, he had no clue. An hour later, he arrived to pick me up in his tiny little Toyota, his name is Layma and he is one of the founders of the green foundation. He took me to his modest little house made of brick in the middle of nowhere. It was surrounded by banana and mango trees and such. There were other volunteers from Ireland, Scotland, Australia and one other from USA at his house. They were all doing their own separate projects.

The next couple of days, consisted of becoming familiar with the area and the people with whom I would be working. I am staying in a small village outside of Kilimanjaro called Arusha and within that it is called Tengeru at the foothills of Mt. Meru. I was supposed to work with this one specific project in Tengeru but that morning the main person in charge of the group had died the night before of AIDS. Instead I went to work with a different group nearby in Uusa River called POSA - Positive Step Arumeru.

Over the past few days, I have been teaching English to young students about 16-19 yrs old, most of which have no parents due to AIDS. I am trying to help them, so they may be able to get ahead and perhaps have a chance. Also, I am helping teach students about HIV/AIDS; it seems education is a little behind and there is much stigma surrounding this topic. I am working with some widow groups as well. Most of them lost their husbands to AIDS and some are infected with HIV themselves. Lastly and more importantly, I am walking the villages visiting with various people who are infected with HIV and are at different stages. Most are woman ages 27--45, some are men close to same age and some are children from all ages. Many of the children were born with the disease.

Before my home visits, we stop at the local market and pick up some rice, flour, sugar, and some fruits to give to them along with some of the items I had brought with me: toothbrushes/toothpaste, vitamins, children's toys and some clothes. Communication is not a problem, we all understand what we are doing and why we are there.

So let me tell you why you will probably not hear about me going on safari, because with that $200.00 a day I would spend on myself I could spend it on:

$7.00 rent for a month for a family of 5
$35.00 for a 100 lb bag of rice--- or
$40.00 a year for school fees so a young child can get an education.
$75.00 for a sewing machine for the orphan girls can make clothes to earn a living.

These are only a few of the reasons why I am not going on safari and I do not plan on coming home with a dime in my pocket.

Tomorrow, I am going to go with the coordinator of POSA, his name is Crispen, and I am going to buy 4 sewing machines so these people can learn and earn--cost $300.00. To me, that is change and to them it could mean a change.

Well all for now, I must go walk in the pouring rain. Please everyone, look after one another and share your love. For now, my place is here and when I leave I will be sad that I was not able to stay longer and do more for these beautiful people of Tanzania--- my friends.

---

3-16-2008

I think, concept of time is slightly lost here. I can't quite explain why.

Did you ever imagine you could save a life with only $12.00? Well, that's exactly what happened. We were doing some home visits of some of the people we know are HIV positive and are part of this group POSA. When we arrived at this woman's house, I could not believe it. Her house was made of mud and stick and she was laying on a mat on the dirt floor. She lives alone because her husband left her after he learned she was infected. When in fact, it was he who had infected her. The only difference is he just didn't get tested, but its irrelevant because now he is dead. Her young 14 year old son used to stay with her but he also ran off because of her infection. There is so much ignorance that surrounds this disease and that is one thing we are trying to overcome through education and awareness.

When we came to see this woman she was in respiratory distress, I took her vital signs and they were not good. It seems she had been having an asthma attack for 3 days now but had no money to buy her medication. We did not hesitate to carry this woman to the hospital a couple of miles away. They took her in right away and gave her a shot, an IV and her other meds. We left her in their care for a few hours. We returned to find her in the lobby waiting for us, smiling and breathing with ease. We took her back to her house and I gave her such a big hug that she would never forget that even a stranger from a far off country cares about her. We were both in tears. Now we are working to establish an emergency medical fund. It will be governed by the the director and when there is some one in a life threatening situation and they need medication or assistance, there will be no delay. I know if we had not come that day she would have died, all for the price of a pizza.

The next day, I went into Arusha with Crispin and I purchased 4 sewing machines; they are they old foot pedal type, I paid about $75 each. Then I paid a man $2.00 to load them into an ox cart, then acted as the ox pulling the cart through the city to the main bus station. The main mode of transport are buses and these are not the type you would imagine. They are those small Toyota vans. I ride these all over the city, I have counted 30 people in a van at one time before. We made a deal with one of the drivers to move us and these machines about 15 miles for $8.00. We dropped off two machines in Tengeru at the one of the buildings we work at. Then we continued on and dropped off the other 2 in Uusa.

When I arrived with the machines, the people at POSA all cheered and were so delighted that I had brought so much hope with me. With each machine 2 orphan school girls can learn the skill of sewing. In 6 months time, they will complete the training and then one of them will be given the machine so they may go out and earn a living and perhaps have a better life. So these 4 machines will change the lives of 8 girls who have little to no options.

We continue to go through these small village areas, very unclean and rundown and we are checking on various people infected with HIV. They are all different ages and all have the same struggles. The young girl I held the other day, only 1 1/2 years old, she will never know a life without HIV and most likely will die before she reaches 10. Proper nutrition is a huge problem, most people cannot afford much if anything to eat. When we work on one problem, another one surfaces. Our goal is to educate, to free people from the ignorance of stigma and bring communities together in a hope to allow them to care for each other without much assistance from outside sources.

We teach them to be strong and believe that their life does not have to end just because of HIV. We help them establish support groups and agriculture projects so the may feed themselves and even have some income. We also teach them some English so they again can have the power of their life in their own hands.

There is on the other side if Uusa where we are going to start a sister project to POSA. At the moment, the group can only sustain so many and there is a greater number of people that are infected but can not yet join the group. So, we are going to help them establish the foundation of a second group that would include orphans, sewing groups, widows group, poultry and agriculture project. All of this as it involves communities affected by HIV/AIDS.

I feel so grateful to be here and to be able to be a part of this grass-roots formation, not only because its helping many people of this area, but it will also save the lives of so many, possibly even that young infant girl.

Just a couple of other things I forgot to mention, Georg W. Bush was here at the hospital only a few minutes walk from where I am staying in Tengeru. He was here a couple of weeks before I had arrived and donated a few thousand mosquito nets to all of Tanzania. Malaria is a huge problem here, many of the small children have it. If you were not aware it is the rainy season here. it will be sunny as could be one moment and the next heavy flood-like down pour.

If everyone could please stop sending their old t-shirts from 80's hair bands and their old Abba cassettes to Africa, I am tired of listening to it.

It's been 2 whole weeks with only 3 more to go and I'm only getting warmed up. Look for me again--- I love you all----and to my son Kevin-- I miss you dearly and think of you everyday I hope you understand why and who I am---I love you

---

3-26-2008

The bus:

I had explained before what the bus is, it is a Toyota van that fits close to 30 people. So, who said it was acceptable to bring a goat on with you? It's hard enough to find a seat, when the person in front of you has to stand bent over forward with their ass in in your face. Plus, it's 90+ degrees and we ALL need a shower. But, almost everyone is dressed nice, like they are going to church. Easter Sunday was fun, I went into the city to visit some places with friends(Tanzanian friends) and at my feet were about 14 full size kukus(chickens) and they were not happy.

Pulling my arm:

Everyone here is so friendly and will go out of their way to say hi. Even the drunk guy I teach some English to outside of a shady bar is very nice. He doesn't have many teeth but his English is coming along great when he isn't falling over. At first, I was nervous for my safety, but soon found that I need not worry. But, the guys that try to get you to ride their bus instead of someone else's, they are not as nice. They grab you by the wrist and pull you into the van, not even knowing where you want to go. This will get my boot connected to your back side.

After my last visit to a certain Internet cafe, I stepped outside to catch the bus. Next door was an ATM/bank., where you will find security/military types holding AK-47s. As I passed by, a guard came over, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to an isolated area between some cars. He lowered his voice and demanded I give him some money because he was hungry. I was hungry also, but he had a weapon. I was very cautious, pretending to not understand him and continuing to smile, I pulled my arm away then I darted off.

Sickness:

A couple of the volunteers became very sick over a period of days with symptoms that I will refrain from description. The end result was them having to go to the hospital for tests. I felt it was up to me to make them feel better. It just so happened that my monthly 3 day fast landed on Easter weekend starting on Thursday, the day before the full moon. I was fine until Sunday morning when I was so weak that I could hardly get out of bed. The people were wondering why I would do this to myself. My answer, because I have a choice. There are so many people all over the world that experience this every day. In respect for them, I will suffer as they do. This had such a profound meaning to these people. I have since eaten and I am getting along just fine, we all are.

Rafiki:

The Swahili word for friend, and that is my name, says the song I am writing with the aid of the acoustic guitar I found and will donate when I leave. I play some simple chords and hum some words in English and Swahili, for the children. It turns out to be some kind of Simon says, they love it. I take this guitar to many areas where I am working and I play for the children, they all know me by name. I am Roberti, Rafiki to everyone. This is what this experience is about, sharing and laughing and love for all of God's people.

Rain:

I knew it was the rainy season when I came here, and this past week I found out what that meant. It can be 90+ degrees and sunny and out of nowhere comes a storm cloud crashing down from the mountain. It pours from 1 hour to 5 hours. Walking in the after effects is like walking in a pool of chocolate cake mix....mmmmm.

Crime:

The police in the city mostly direct traffic. Most villages around here practice self rule. Everyone looks out for each other. If someone has done something to you, the entire village gets involved and takes care of it. The other night, I could hear 20 or so dogs barking as they wandered about the hillside of the village. The dogs became very excited and moments later I heard many people howling loudly. I went outside with on of the guys from our house (Tanzanians). Outside we met about 12 people holding machetes. We all stood at the intersection of this dirt path as they spoke in Swahili. I understood very little. The power had gone out (again), and the more fortunate people were running their generators. In the house next to ours, someone had stolen the generator as it was being used. Many people knew who had done this, the main tribal council member and several others went with their machetes to deal with the bandit(s).

Only 10 days remaining, and I feel like I can't do enough. Soon I will be home in my comfortable 1 bedroom palace with all of its luxuries. This is in the front of my mind. I repeatedly told that I will be blessed and I will have a place in heaven. My response is that I AM blessed and I am in heaven. I have to be, to be filled with so much love that I could not possibly give it away fast enough as it pours out of me. This is my life and I would not change a thing.

I hope somebody saved me some Easter candy-- I love chocolate
see you on the other side--- your friend out there----Roberti

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4-3-2008

I know I mentioned the rain before, but let me explain more. At times there are, without warning, massive amounts of rainfall, extremely heavy and somewhat floodlike. Do you recall that I am staying in the foothills of Mt. Meru? When it rains the roads (dirt) turn into small rivers. At the bottom of the hill near the hospital that George W. Bush visited, there are a large quanity of flip flops at a result of the heavy rains.

Electricity is nice, but comes and goes, partly due to the heavy rainfall, but also because of the relay system in place. When the power goes off in the city, the outside rim also loses power, but no problem for us and definitely no problem for the people of Tanzania.

Many houses are only 2-3 rooms meaning the kitchen is jut a shack of some kind with an actual fire to cook on, only one fire for all items and no lights. One evening, I helped prepare some rice, spinach and beans on the fire. It was very challenging for me. They make it seem very easy. In most homes, the toilet is located outside and is NOT european style. It is a hole in the ground and a sign that says "good luck".

I bought an accoustic guitar in the city, I knew I would donate it to someone before I left. It was a challenge to find the guitar as there are not many music shops in the city (only 1) since I found it I have been playing it for dozens of children of all ages in all the places I go. It is very difficult to take this on the bus due to lack of space, but I manage. The looks and comments I get are great. Everyone knows me now as Roberti. Everywhere I go, there are many people who name me by name. What a feeling it is to experience the impact I am leaving. There is a group of young guys that write songs about the hardships of street children and of the many effects of HIV/AIDS in their city. They call themselves "Efata" and they perform for groups of children and young adults trying to educate and promote awareness. I am inspired by them and their message. After I played them a couple of my own original songs, I gave them my guitar because all they had were their voices and no money for any instruments. You would think I had just gave them a car with the reaction they had. Wow! This entire time here is ALL worthwhile. One of the last days I played the guitar at my homeplace. I spotted a monkey in the tree above me coming down closer, how wondeful. My last afternoon with the guitar, I played for a group of orphan girls at their sewing class (the same class I bought the machines for). Afterwards, they sang me a song of thanks and appreciation.

On my way into the center of Arusha the other day, the bus I was on came to a stop as we passed a large crowd of people standing to one side. They looked on as there was a person laying flat on their back in the road completely covered with a sheet. Everyone on the bus seemed concerned and thoughtful to this scene.

The two girls from Australia that are here as volunteers, have some money they raised before they left their country and they are using this money to help start the new POSA women's center. It will help groups of people with HIV, also widows, orphans, sewing classes, and English classes. It is amazing how much a little money can go so far for so many people, not just for today but for many tomorrows.

Not so long ago, I mentioned the crime and the machete and vigilante justice. Remember, a generater had been stolen. Well, just days ago a man went into a shop near my house and demaned the owner to give up his money. Knowing he would be dicovered he shot and killed the store owner. I knew something was going on at that moment, but I did not hear of it until the night after. I realize that this is common in the USA, but if you were here and knew these people the way I do and see how peaceful they are, you would have a hard of a time believing that something like this actually happened. The village was/is in shock.

"POSA/TAMIHA people helping people with HIV/AIDS" is what my banner said. This was attached to the 2-wheeled cart I purchasesd and had taken to the market. There I bought 100 kilos of rice $100, 100 kilos of beans $100, 100 kilos of sugar $100, 15 gal cooking oil $115, the cart $115 and about 150 bananas $10 fresh from the tree. Myself along with a couple of friends assembled 2 carts with all this food and we I) pushed a cart 6k along the road for all to read the banner, see the food and mor importanly a white man in Africa helping. Everyone along the way was so surprised and excited to see this. It created so much interst, energy and awarness. It was I very difficult thing to accomplish but was very worth while and all for about $500. It will feed many people for a long time. I am happy.

Tomorrow, I am going to the center of the city to the UN court house where they hold tribunals for trials from the genocide in Rwanda. Wow! I will experience some history! Everywhere I go I see and experience so much and I am bringing it all home to you in my hands and in my heart. I love my life and I love the world and ALL of its people. So please pray for me as I finish my last few days here in Tanzania as I am anxious to come home, but at the same time I dont want to leave because I feel like I am home. I love you all--- Robert

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4-6-2008

My last couple of days in Tanzania seemed like a dream. Time was going by so quickly and I had so much to do and so many people to see. I spent Thursday and Friday visiting many people I had met before, from orphans to the students from different schools and many children in the small villages where I wandered so often. When I explained to most of these people that I would be leaving in a couple of days to go home to America, most of the responses were the same, "don't go", "stay here and live","don't forget about us". How could I leave these people? I know that they were getting along in life fine before I came along and I'm sure they will manage after I'm gone, but when so many children all say the same thing, " please we don't want you to leave , we want you to stay here with us" it breaks my heart, it absolutely breaks my heart to leave this way.

I appreciate everything I experienced here in Tanzania. The people I stayed with took me in their home like I was part of their family. I appreciate all the consideration I was given by so many people who barely knew me, but for them it was the most natural thing to do. I appreciate the kindness and generosity I was given by people who could hardly get enough coins to buy bread to feed their children and yet managed to prepare some thing simple for me because that is their way. How am I supposed to respond to that? What could I possibly say or do that could fill them up with as much love and happiness as they have given me? I will find a way to repay them, someday I will return and when I do I will let them experience for themselves how much all of this meant to me and how it pains me to have to leave. I am grateful to each and every person from the youngest child to the eldest of elders and more importantly of my own life and its many opportunities and freedoms, I can and I will.

My last day was interesting, we gave a workshop to close to 100 students concerning HIV/AIDS in a school in Lagonga (Uusa River). It was myself along with the 2 Australian girls as well as some members from TAMIHA/POSA. We integrated the workshop with many aspects including the music and drama skits performed by Efata. It was a great success in so many ways. The workshop went from about 10am until almost 3pm and at the end we all had to say goodbye. The children from the orphans group sang me a song expressing their thanks and and how sad they were to see me leave. Some of the children were in tears knowing that I will soon be on a plane flying far away from them perhaps to never see me again. Efata performed a special song to me thanking me for everything I had done for not just them but for all the children and the community. I was very touched with my eyes watering as I am handing Crispin from Tamiha my last $50.00, so he can purchase 10 chickens for the egg and poultry project at the new POSA woman's group. I only wish I could have done more, I think about money I spent back home before I came here and how I could have brought that money with me and used to for so much and for so many. What a waste. I think about all that I have at home and how that money could save the lives of so many people and have such and impact and make such a difference and bring hope into the lives of these children.

My last couple of hours I gave away many of my possessions as I tried to pack my bags surrounded by many of the family members and fellow volunteers, it was so nice. Leyma along with his mother and one of the orphan children and also my friend Memu drove me nearly an hour to the airport. I had been in Tanzania for 5 weeks and this was my 1st time to see MT. Kilimanjaro. it was mostly covered by clouds but I got the idea of how massive it is. It is recorded as the 8th highest mountain in the world and the highest in all of Africa. As I stood to the side of the road looking up, it felt like I was looking up to God.

At the airport, I said goodbye to my new friends and now began the dreaded journey and endless change of airplanes and set assignments. You know what, it wasn't really that bad, sure it took me about 24 hours to arrive back home, but I was still buzzing from place I had just left. It was like my body was moving but my mind and my spirit were still in Arusha. Even when I had to go through customs and immigration it was so easy and painless unlike past experiences. In my home city I was greeted by some friends that were happy to see me but were concerned when I told them that I would be leaving in 48 hours. I explained my place is no longer here, that I was leaving to go find where that place is. When I get there I will tell you but for now open your minds and your hearts and pray for me and all of my new friends in Tanzania-- I love them all as well as all of you.

thank you-----love-------Roberti